That’s not self-reliance we can believe in, my friends

This K-Lo post is amusing…

Self-Reliance [Kathryn Jean Lopez]

is a beautiful thing.

…when you consider the following:

Our swollen toes and other (true!) NRO journalistic sob stories [Jack Fowler]

Folks, these things don’t happen by magic or the sprinkling of pixie dust. It takes a lot of bucks to run NRO. Of course, each and every dollar we have is stretched to the max — we don’t have the luxury of, well, having luxuries. Cabs? Ha! Subway fare? Think again! How do I get to the press conference then? By foot! That’s how we operate. Calluses, fallen arches, and vibrant conservatism are the consequences.

NRO exists in no small part because of the generosity of our readers. Join the ranks of these revered souls. If you come to NRO every day or many days, if you understand how important NRO is both to you and to the cause of conservatism, then help us out. Whether it’s cold hard cash or warm soft cash — we need it, boy do we need it, and pledge to spend every penny über-wisely. For an alternative, picture this world wide web without NRO (as surely its inventor, Mr. Gore, does).

So please donate today. Come on, I’m begging – and that’s a very ugly sight, so ugly that we’re prohibited from running my picture with this post. Make your generosity known here.

And:

Consider [Kathryn Jean Lopez]

donating.

And:

If You Are Happy with Jonah’s Shatnerfest [Kathryn Jean Lopez]

Donate now.

Or, if you’re not, donate NOW.

Basically, I will sleep if you donate now.

And:


Help Us Lead the Renewal

By Kathryn Jean Lopez

Your donation — whether it be $5,000 or $50 — will go directly toward the cost of running NRO: our recent necessary server upgrade, salaries, author’s fees (which have not grown with inflation since NRO was first established) and essential support services. Your generosity, in other words, will keep this light on and shining bright in the wilderness.

And as you donate, I encourage you to e-mail me with your suggestions as we look toward the next four years together.

Make your donation here. Thank you for your support. We can’t do this without you.

And so on.

Has anyone else noticed that a lot of wingnut punditry consists mainly of lecturing everybody on the need to be self-reliant while simultaneously begging for money? It’s almost like they don’t actually believe the stuff they’re writing…

 

Comments: 326

 
 
 

I highly recommend everyone donate the sum of one shilling. Possibly a farthing. Hur’cane took mah gril!

 
 

Self reliance is a beautiful thing in other people.

Then again, considering how conservatism has run the economy into the ditch, I’d guess that even their usual sugar daddies are having a hard time squeezing out some extra dough for the Pantload and his friends. Who knows? These circumstances may even result in the entire NRO crew having to get actual jobs were competence, honesty, and performance actually matter. Then the question will be, who among them can survive the longest while subsisting on sparrows roasted on curtain rods.

 
 

Well, see, it’s the begging that makes it “self” reliant, Brad, because….uhhhhhhhhhhhh…

Oh look! A chicken!

 
Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico
 

But see, begging is self-reliance when you do it to shore up yourself (and you’re a conservative). It’s only welfare when a liberal, or minority, or woman, or foreign type does it.

Well, except for that one where she begs on behalf of Jonah. That’s just lame.

Also, why is there now a little silhouette of a man (Scaramouch, Scaramouch, can you do the fandango) next to my name in preview?

 
 

However, the liberals still advocate for a society where everything is free — for them. While those who work hard pay the bills. At least the conservatives supporting NRO get value for money and it is their own free choice.

You liberals want to force everyone to contribute to your causes of laziness, brainwashing and destruction of work ethic and religion and the faith values our forefathers created.

This is, to use your vernacular — FAIL.

 
 

Look, it’s Troofie the potential Presidential assassin!

Hello, Troofie! Tell us again how Obama won’t take office?

 
 

Also, why is there now a little silhouette of a man (Scaramouch, Scaramouch, can you do the fandango) next to my name in preview?

It’s called a “Gravatar” Leon.

Go to Gravatar.com for more info.

 
 

Your donation — whether it be $5,000 or $50 — will go directly toward the cost of running NRO

Cuz she’s got
Hi-igh hopes,
She’s got
Hi-igh hopes…

$50? Good grief, K-Lo, you start small and work your way up. Ask for $10 and you might get a few of the low-normals like Troofie to kick in their tips from tonight’s fraternity party.

 
 

Of course, each and every dollar we have is stretched to the max — we don’t have the luxury of, well, having luxuries. Cabs? Ha! Subway fare? Think again! How do I get to the press conference then? By foot! That’s how we operate. Calluses, fallen arches, and vibrant conservatism are the consequences.

$4 is an unthinkable, unattainable luxury for the National Review?

Or maybe Jonah let them know that “subway” is merely Marxist code for “socialist trains”, and Mussolini was a socialist and he made the trains run on time, so obviously liberals are the true racists.

 
 

Oh, my dear paranoid liberal friend …. in no way have I threatened Osama’s life, I merely said he will not take office, because certain facts will come to light and the people will take back his fraudulent win. That is all.

Do you always project your violent fantasies on all you disagree with?

 
 

Or maybe Jonah let them know that “subway” is merely Marxist code for “socialist trains” where sweaty third worlders ride

Fixed your post to inject the correct sentiment passed in the locker room at NRO.

 
 

he will not take office

You threatened to kill him, again!

 
 

You should add in James Lileks’s hysterical money grubbing 5-6 years back, when his wife had job trouble–but if i recall correctly at least he was so embarrassed afterwards that he tried pretending that those who had donated money had somehow misunderstood him. Spitting back in the faces of those who help you after you beg them, now THAT’s the conservative way!

 
 

Ah, my myriad of impostors are in full force on this glorious morning, liberals! It is to laugh, how they think they can pretend to be a principled human being like me.

 
 

Going against popular wisdom, I clicked on that link and found myself reading one of the less-racist rants of Michelle Malkin. Is her point is that a suburbanite family decided to become farmers and learn to make some of their own supplies and food in order to become more self-reliant? Good, I don’t see the problem here except for “haha…LIBERALS.”

But then again, I don’t expect that Malkin, K-Lo or Doughy Pantload would ever consider doing the same if their cushy jobs suddenly went under. They’d be the first in line at Barack Hussein Obama’s Socialist Handout Boutique and Mosque of Doom.

 
 

No, that’s where the poor and unwashed are. When/If bad times hit, they’ll buy up everything they can hoard, use up their supplies, then start stealing others’ supplies.

 
 

Maybe if K-Lo and Jonah got a job mucking out stables, like the self-reliant Jen whom Malkin writes about, they could help keep the review in business. I would chip in, but there are plenty of wingnuts to mock if the NRO ship goes down.

Don’t even want to know what the Shatnerfest is all about.

 
 

It involves a Beta videocassette recorder, a tube of K-Y, and a blow-up doll in a blond beehive wig.

 
 

It’s at least somewhat satisfying that NRO is reduced to the same tin-cup banging fate they helped condemn PBS to.

Where’s my copy of the Rolling Stones’ Rock and Roll Circus, K-Lo?

 
 

I guess the Wingnut Welfare Agency is awaiting the next bubble economy since there’s no way it’ll be supporting those losers with actual wealth.

 
 

K-Lo: Basically, I will sleep if you donate now.

Thank god she left “with you” out of the middle of that sentence. There are some things just too horrible to contemplate.

Oh, Truth–when is the African Press International gonna come out with those tapes, anyway?

 
 

Goddamnit, Some Guy stepped on mah lines!

When the moochers and entitlement-mongers drive you mad, remember that our nation still serves as home to millions of citizens who do for themselves.

Unless they need a new char-coahl grill.

Christ, the list of conservative moochers would just be so impressive (and depressing) – from the Red states who take more in taxes than they contribute to the book publishers who buy their own printings to the endless blegs for cash (“it’s an invertment in your conservative beliefs!”).

 
 

millions of citizens who do for themselves.

Poor wingnuts. Just because you’re condemned to a life of weepy, masturbatory loneliness doesn’t mean the rest of us are. That’s called “projection.”

But hey. They have to beg. Consider Goldberg: It’s hard out there for a blimp.

 
 

For that matter, what about the “entitlement-mongers” in the GOP who believed the B.S. about the “permanent Republican majority” and are busy flinging poo over who lost the White House and Senate?

 
 

All the wingnuts are begging for money now, it’s really quite amusing. Of course the ones I report on are still ignoring the financial meltdown in favor of Islamophobia, but still. It’s a real web-a-thon for the self-reliant crowd whose bootstraps all seem to have rotted off.

 
 

Have any of these people ever in their pathetic lives held a “REAL” job? (i.e. one that paid minimum wage (or close to it), that involved manual labor, had a boss that wasn’t a family member, that required at least a 40 hour week, showing up at a regular time, etc, etc.) If any of them ever have it certainly didn’t sink in how hard the average person has to work to get by…

Ah, who am I kidding, these people are either..
a) idiots
b) sociopaths

and they all have the self-awareness of a newborn.

 
 

I’ll just assume that Ms. Lopez is the one who writes the sub-heads.

Give thanks for Americans who do not pu their faith in the Cult of You Owe Me.

I certainly don’t poo (alternative spelling) my faith in any cult. I’m a free thinker.

As far as the MM piece goes, when will these people realize that the freaking frontier closed in 1890? Not every poor person can homestead somewhere.

If everyone got self-reliant & lived in a compound w/ their demented home-schooled spawn, we wouldn’t have enough money to protect ourselves from terrorists, and the liberals will have won ’cause they’ll have us all living in sod huts & burning wood for heat, like they want us to ’cause of “global warming.” Looks to me like “self-reliance” just destroys the economy. And that’s just stupid, Michelle Malkin.

 
 

re:Shatnerfest: It involves a Beta videocassette recorder, a tube of K-Y, and a blow-up doll in a blond beehive wig.

And!

Over! Dramatic! Actingwith! Lots! Ofpauses!

 
 

Also:

This is a golden time for these people to trim that extra fleece from their flocks. Fear of a Black President makes the wealthy extra-anxious, & more desperate than ever to feel as if they’re standing athwart history, blah blah blah…

 
 

Don’t even want to know what the Shatnerfest is all about.

I’m assuming it has something to do with the past tense of the verb, seeing as how it has to do with Pantload and all. Between that and the mental images of K-Lo’s calluses and fallen arches I’m feeling a mite bit faint.

 
 

Christ, the list of conservative moochers would just be so impressive (and depressing) – from the Red states who take more in taxes than they contribute to the book publishers who buy their own printings to the endless blegs for cash (”it’s an invertment in your conservative beliefs!”).

It’s interesting to compare and contrast the “begging” styles of liberal and conservative blogs.

In a nutshell, liberals ask for help…you know, “It takes time to do these posts and I have to buy server space, so if you have the resources, could you, you know, pitch a few nickles my way?”

Conservatives, however, practically demand your participation with threats and intimidation, as you point out: “This is an investment in your conservative beliefs (implied “dammit!” here), so if you don’t want to see me stop, you must give $50 or more to…”

 
 

Basically, I will sleep if you donate now.

For a second there, I thought she was threatening to sleep with you if you donated…

 
 

For a second there, I thought she was threatening to sleep with you if you donated…

EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW

jeez, let me get a chance to eat breakfast BEFORE you make me throw up!

 
 

Sorry, man. If it helps, substitute Jonah for K-Lo

 
 

Sheesh, actor. Way to rip off my joke from earlier in the thread. ??

 
 

I don’t think Michelle Malkin can really claim to be self-reliant. After all, to do her job, she has to rely on Rachel Ray to wear a scarf or some major Christianity-destroying event like that. Conservative-oriented news doesn’t make itself! Oh wait…

 
 

However, the liberals still advocate for a society where everything is free — for them. While those who work hard pay the bills.

I love this sort of dumbass construct.

Troofie, do you honestly think that all of the 65 million people who voted for Obama don’t have jobs and are just moochers?

 
 

Have any of these people ever in their pathetic lives held a “REAL” job? … If any of them ever have it certainly didn’t sink in how hard the average person has to work to get by

Over Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday my son, sister-in-law, niece and I were discussing the appalling lack of compassion and empathy in such persons as, for example, health-insurance claims deniers, and Republicans. We were wondering how such people sleep at night and speculating as to how they got that way: Nature or nurture? Hole in the soul? Mass epidemic of some mental disorder? Being gentle caring souls as we are, we concluded that certain people simply cannot relate to misfortune or unfortunate circumstance unless and until it has actually happened to them. That’s why so many you’d never expect to went and voted for Obama: Having lost a job, a loved one, a house; having had an insurance claim denied, a 401(k) disappear, or a similarly disappointing experience with the US capitalist system, may have actually ignited flickers of humanity where before there were none.

 
 

Stephen–definitely a Christianity-destroying event. Good thing we had La Malkin on that one! Whew!

 
 

In a relatively brief column, Malkin manages to squeeze in whines about being victimized by:
1. ‘moochers and entitlement-mongers’
2. ‘handwringing rationalizers’ for federal financial intervention
3. condescending ‘elitist pundits’
4. ‘savior Barack Obama’
5. a terrorist-friendly New York Times editorial board
6. ‘Borrow-Spend-Repeat-Panic politicians in Washington’

…and still finds room to praise farmer Jen as someone who ‘adamantly rejects the victim card’.

Impressive, eh?

 
 

The Doughy Pantload is getting desperate for some cash.

His last ditch effort will be a Sarah Palin inspired carrot snapathon.

You pledge by the stroke.

-GSD

 
 

I wonder if Double Nickel Farm gets any government subsidies.

 
 

I wonder if Double Nickel Farm gets any government subsidies.

It’s a farm – of course it does.

 
 

Also, why is there now a little silhouette of a man (Scaramouch, Scaramouch, can you do the fandango) next to my name in preview?

And another thing! What ever happened to the kinky white on black skin for S,N? All this white is hurting my eyes.

Fascists.

 
 

A good beggar doesn’t rely on other occupations, he/she is totally self-reliant.

 
 

‘moochers and entitlement-mongers’

Halliburton, Raytheon, Boeing…

 
 

Keep your eyes out at the grocery store at those change-to-bills machines. I’ve got my eyes out for K-Lo, Pantload and Pamela Geller. But who knows, perhaps Malkin too.

Did it ever occur to them the reality of their “jobs” while they were chanting, “I am Joe the Plumber”? Silly question. Sorry.

 
 

Jen’s favorite movies are Incredible Creatures That Defy Evolution, Part I, Part II, and Part III.

 
 

You liberals want to force everyone to contribute to your causes of laziness, brainwashing and destruction of work ethic and religion and the faith values our forefathers created.

See how this works? Conservatives never actually debate liberals. First they create a straw-man caricature of a liberal and debate their own creation.

It’s basically political masturbation.

 
 

What vegetables does one grow on a farm in New Mexico? Seriously. I’m curious. Isn’t it like real sandy and everything out there?

 
 

They grow chili peppers in New Mexico. I’m not sure what else.

It’s not as sandy as you think.

 
 

Jen’s favorite movies are Incredible Creatures That Defy Evolution, Part I, Part II, and Part III.

Every single part of her profile looks like a parody of fundamentalism. And yet I believe it is real.

 
Rusty Shackleford (not that one)
 

To be fair, the chair-farters at NRO are doing their own begging. They aren’t relying on somebody else to do it for them.

Basically, I will sleep if you donate now.

I choose to read this as a kind of inverse challenge. So far I’ve been able to go quite some time without donating. I wonder if she’s starting to hallucinate yet.

 
 

Shorter Malkin: “Jen’s husband was permanently disabled in an accident. They lost their home and now eke out a living by subsistence farming.

Therefore, government is bad.”

 
 

It’s worse than I thought. The NROers have to WALK places in NYC! I mean, when was the last time you saw someone walk somewhere in the City?! Moreover, you know what walking is, right? Exercise. And what did teh Pantload tell us about exercise? Liberal fascists think it’s a good idea. What’s next? Being forced to eat pizza by the slice?!

 
 

And my God, Kim du Toit, who asks for money from his readers to go on *vacation* for Christ’s sake. And to Europe no less! You’d think he’d at least go to Branson or Eureka Springs to get away from the socialists.

 
 

Here’s a simpler alternative for ‘conservatives’:

Simply write “My beliefs and philosophies are correct and acurate.” on a Post-It and stick it on your computer monitor. You’ll save time and money by not reading and contributing to NRO. Plus, you’ll feel more self-reliant because you’re not looking for an ideological handout from the Conservative Brain Trust.

 
 

Awww, some of the travel is “work” related. There is (of all things) a “counter-jihad conference” coming up in (of all places) Jerusalem. This has caused no small amount of begging for plane fare.

 
 

Conservative Brain Trust

This made me smile.

 
 

It is not going to happen, liberals. Your echo chamber is reverberating now with your shouts of victory before you’ve won a single state. I almost feel badly for you, because when McCain wins, your astonishment will be overwhelming. I say “almost” because your ideology is nasty, anti-free speech, and absolutist, and every decent person will sigh in relief when it goes down to defeat once more.

Here is how it will go down next week. First, the results from Virginia and North Carolina will come in, and they’ll be declared for McCain. You’ll be disappointed, but “no big deal, change can’t come overnight” will be your comment. Florida will go red, and a little nervousness will creep in. The usual suspects will fall into the usual categories. As the night drags on, Ohio, Colorado, and (much to your horror) Pennsylvania will be too close to call.

My advice at this point to you will be to go to bed. You will wake up to a McCain presidency and the Great Liberal Freakout will be on.

Bookmark this, liberals, as this is exactly how it is going to go down. You will be wonder how the hell I was able to call this.

 
 

And my God, Kim du Toit, who asks for money from his readers to go on *vacation* for Christ’s sake. And to Europe no less!

But that’s not a spineless, wimpy-ass, metrosexual liberal vacation – it’s an old-fashioned, red-blooded, self-reliant vacation, the sort that our pioneering ancestors used to take. The du Toits are crossing to Europe by Conestoga wagon.

 
 

Gee. Somebody ought to tell that poor man about unlimited fare metrocards. I get mine with pre-tax money through TransitChek, which costs my employer, erm, nothing.

 
 

Suggested edit:

Original – Basically, I will sleep if you donate now.

Corrected – Basically, I will sleep with you if you do not donate now.

The fear factor alone should keep them in Cheetos and Code Red until the next millenium.

 
 

Okay, so from now on The Truth is going to be one of those “I’m Spartacus” deals? Where you never know who he/she really is? Which is to say, there is no detectable difference between the parody and the reality? Aces.

(Ah, sorry. “between the *amusingly inept imitation* and the reality.” Ah.)

 
Rusty Shackleford (not that one)
 

Give thanks for Americans who do not pu their faith in the Cult of Spellchec.

 
 

Yeah, really. $80/month is nothing compared to other expenses of living in NYC. I enjoy walking around Manhattan most of the time, but it certainly isn’t a financial necessity. It’s not as if I’m making a lot of money either; wingnut welfare is almost certainly quite a bit more.

The pathetic whining is pretty bad. The likelihood that they’re lying about their sob stories makes it hilarious.

 
 

At least the conservatives supporting NRO get value for money

Hhahahahahahhaha! Hilarious!! they sure do!

 
 

…the savior Barack Obama,

The ‘Office Bushmonger’ has started using that one to run away from every Bush failure.

“Well, I guess we’ll just have to wait and see how “The Savior Barack” does won’t we?” This is usually said within a sentence or two of how all of our problems are Carter’s and Clinton’s fault or how Saddam moved all of his WMDs to Syria.
It’s always preceded with, “I’m an Independent voter” and then a complete re-iteration of every Republican talking point over the last 45 years.
If you explain that even George himself said there weren’t any WMDs in Iraq, you’ll get back that the “Liberal Media” forced him to say those things.

…the savior Barack Obama,

It wasn’t that long ago you wingnuts pegged him as the Anti-Christ. We can ONLY assume you’re trying to tell us you think he’s qualified for the job of President of the United States of America.

 
 

Why, thank you, Pere Ubu! How sweet. And true!

 
 

Actually, I remember when I really did walk instead of take the subway in NY, just to save a little dough. or take the PATH from the village to midtown, instead of the Broadway Local, cause it was cheaper.

 
 

speck chell!

 
 

Have these people even tried a bake sale?

 
 

Have these people even tried a bake sale?

That would involve effort, organization, and actual work. So, no.

 
Smiling Mortician
 

Yes. But they eated it.

 
Rusty Shackleford (not that one)
 

Have these people even tried a bake sale?

Topping idea! Have Cook whip up some Napoleons post-haste! We shall market them to the unwashed proles!

 
 

How about we all e-mail K-Lo and tell her we will all donate $50 each if NRO becomes a liberal online magazine? Then again, I suppose we don’t want K-Lo advocating on behalf of things we believe in. It’s much better that she embarrasses herself on behalf of the other side.

 
 

I’m contributing. I’m sending them “copies” of every “self reliance” pst they’ve ever made. A few thousand times. Each.

 
 

We’ve already given them a ton of pie recipes.

Maybe they can have a car wash, and put K-Lo and Lisa Schiffren on the street in bathing suits, holding signs. That’ll rake in the bucks.

But wait–isn’t selling off WTFuckley’s “private stash” of books making them enough money? Doesn’t erudite bloviating count for anything these days?

 
 

What vegetables does one grow on a farm in New Mexico? Seriously. I’m curious. Isn’t it like real sandy and everything out there?

If it is possible, it can only done with irrigation systems. Canals, dams, aquaducts, you know… public works, the kind that DFH communists think stupidly think tax money should be spent on.

How long before “self-reliant Jen” and her brood apply for federal farm subsidy money?

 
 

Has Ms. Lopez ever worked for anything or anyone that actually makes a profit, or has she been on wingnut welfare her entire adult life?

 
 

Argh, bake sale! I lived in Fort Collins way, way back when Limpballs suggested to a caller that he hold a bake sale when his wife wouldn’t let him buy his book or some such crap. Next thing you know it turned into some Limpballs/bake sale media event as Rush and his local followers descended on that mostly liberal town for their media event.

I recall sitting at an outdoor cafe discussing some philosophy with a friend during that time and soon being physically threatened by the Limpy dickwads at the adjacent table who decided our quiet conversation was definately their business. Because nothing says “conservative” like threatening a short young woman and her friend for the sin of thinking in a manner not approved by their talking point-emitting masters.

 
 

Wait a minute. I remember reading this just two weeks ago:

The magazine, like some others devoted to ideas and politics, has the luxury of not needing to make money. It is judged by how fervently it can incubate ideas — not as a going business concern.

Arango then notes 1994 was the only year National Review made a profit. And now they want to break with tradition? Tradition! That’s what conservatism is all about.

Then again, if they were to combine a bake sale with a dunk tank, I’m sure support for the fundraising event would be unanimous across the political spectrum.

 
 

if they were to combine a bake sale with a dunk tank

Make that tank full of red fuming nitric acid and I’m there.

Naw, on second thought, the blood, urine & feces mix from the end scenes of The Magic Christian will do just fine.

 
 

I’d pay a few bucks to pelt Jonah with tomatoes.

 
 

Arango then notes 1994 was the only year National Review made a profit

Ah, 1994. The year I was beginning to be afraid to drink tap water because I thought maybe it contained Teh Stoopid or some drug that was bringing Teh Stoopid. That would be the year NR was profitable.

 
 

I’d pay a few bucks to pelt Jonah with tomatoes.

If rotten tomatoes hit the Doughy One, wotta pizza that would be! Just needs a little Rush Limberger cheese for that special wingnutty flavor.

 
Rusty Shackleford (not that one)
 

The magazine, like some others devoted to ideas and politics, has the luxury of not needing to make money. It is judged by how fervently it can incubate ideas — not as a going business concern.

So it fails on two counts. Unless “Obama’s a socialist!!!” counts as an “idea.”

 
 

I know! We’ll put on a show! We can have it in the back yard! Mom can sew costumes! Dad can…no wait he’s dead! We’ll hire some guys to build a stage! No Mexicans though unless they work really really cheap! And we’ll call it “You Stupid Assholes Don’t Know What It’s Like to Be Self Reliant!”

 
 

I haven’t worked for an employer in years who didn’t provide free bus passes for employees. But then, my employers have been communists like Wells Fargo, Principle Financial Group, and Blue Cross Blue Shield, who stifled our freedoms with the heavy hand of Marxism as expressed by on-site daycare, exercise facilities, and subsidized parking.

 
 

Jonah yells, “I wanna be Lenny the Cowboy! K-Lo can be Alinda the Lovely Lady Singer!”

 
 

Crap. I can’t get thatold joke out of my head. Short version:
Guy tells complaining wife if she wants some extra money she can go work the streets for it.

First night she responds to “how’d it go?” with “Great! I made $80.25”

“$80.25? Who gave you a quarter?”

“Everybody”

Sorry.

 
 

Ah, the glorious totally free market wingnut welfare state. Wingers always love “free” markets (an oxymoron in its own right, but that is a different post) until they realize that there is absolutely no market for their stale, regurgitated, failed ideas(sic). Then suddenly it is all “from each according to ability and to each according to need” – and we need it really bad so fork it over, suckers.

 
 

I like this idea of a NRO Fundraising Carnival. We can paint the bodies of a waitress and a plumber on a sheet of plywood with cut-out holes for J-Lo and Doughy to stick their heads through and then they can pretend to be people who actually work for a living.

 
 

Self Reliance?

But Emerson was a dirty fucking hippie.

 
 

I haven’t worked for an employer in years who didn’t provide free bus passes for employees.

My university has a deal with the local bus system so that you can ride for free by showing your university ID. God I love socialism! ??

 
 

“Come on, I’m begging-and that’s a very ugly sight. So ugly that we’re prohibited from running my picture with this post.” Geez…”You call that begging? You can beg better than that.”

 
 

Come on people! Send NRO the tips you don’t give to waiters because they’re all Obama supporters!

 
 

MzNicki: “certain people simply cannot relate to misfortune or unfortunate circumstance unless and until it has actually happened to them.”

And even if it does happen to them, they still believe they are unique in their -entirely undeserved- misfortune. No one has ever suffered like them, or for less reason!

 
 

My university has a deal with the local bus system so that you can ride for free by showing your university ID

I’m jealous! The community college I attend offers no such deal. I guess it’s time to do some lobbying.

(Unrelated side note: Good ol’ Larry has now revealed himself to be a North American Union conspiracy theorist. Why can’t we get quality trolls like that here at Sadly?)

 
 

“My university has a deal with the local bus system so that you can ride for free by showing your university ID. God I love socialism! 8-)”
Me too

The backyard show is traditionally in an old barn and must involve the words “Look there’s an old barn, we can put on a show” In the case of the NRO I think they would go for blackface items because it’s way teh funny!!!
But could not the Boy Wonder Goldberg donate profits from the “Liberalz iz nastis” colouring- in book to keep the NRO ships sailing.

 
 

Touching tale of self-reliance about moving to New Mexico, starting up a farm and garden, getting back to the land, setting my soul free, ending addiction to material wealth, etc.

Back in the sixties, such advocates of rejecting consumer culture were called “hippies,” if memory serves.

 
 

Candy –
I think it is in part because we are the flagship state university (of a state with a very small population) in a small city (60K) and one of the largest employers in town. Student body and the local population are also pretty green (much to the horror of the rest of the state who sometimes refer to us as the People’s Republic). We also have a great system of bike lanes and I ride my bike most places when the weather is good (which does not include now – damned cold in the northern Rockies this time of year).

 
 

Back in the sixties, such advocates of rejecting consumer culture were called “hippies,” if memory serves.

Only difference is that the hippies would share with people who dropped in to the commune. This little tribe of New Mexicans would probably get out the shotgun if you came by seeking shelter.

 
 

Back in the sixties, such advocates of rejecting consumer culture were called “hippies,” if memory serves.

Yep, we still have a lot of them here in western Montana where they are making a living on one of the many organic farms in the region (makes summer farmers’ markets a truy delight).

 
 

Western Montana has to be one of the most beautiful places on earth. Big sky indeed! My son and I were just talking about it yesterday and reminiscing about driving through on our trips between Des Moines and Seattle. Sounds like your area is a good place to be, DrDick.

 
 

Candy –
It is indeed, as long as you have a job. Gorgeous scenery, mild summers and winters that are warmer than most parts of the region, blue ribbon trout streams all around (also great for rafting and tubing), dozens of natural mountain lakes, abundant hunting if you do that (I do not anymore), winter skiing, friendly people, lots of local (often organic) produce, and several million acres of national forests and wilderness an easy dive away. I spend as much time as possible in the mountains and on the rivers during the summer.

 
 

… there’s not a finer man in this forum than Twoofie. He’s got a prolapsed asshole and when he wants to get screwed he’ll just pass you his asshole on three feet of in-tes-tine… If he’s a mind to it he can drop out a piece of gut reaches clear across the intarwebs and it go feelin’ around lookin’ for a peter, just a-feelin’ around like a blind worm…

[apologies to Old Bill Lee]

 
 

Good ol’ Larry has now revealed himself to be a North American Union conspiracy theorist.

Went to his site just for shits’n’giggles.

No, he’s not a wingnut; he’s worse – he’s got a pic of him with Ron Paul and links to 9/11 “Truth” sites and Alex “Batshit Insane” Jones’ Infowars.

No, Larry makes K-Lo and Doughy Pantload and the rest of them look like elder statesmen. I’m sure his problem with O’Reilly and Haniity is that neither of them are revealing the secret plot by the Satanic lizardmen to keep America off the gold standard so the Illuminati headed by Khazar Jews and the British Royals can buy up our country’s assets and force us all to become feudal slaves working in the uranium mines on Mars.

 
 

So he’s a Truther too, Pere? I figured he might be. I guess I’ll have to check out his site. It sounds entertaining.

 
 

I guess I’ll have to check out his site. It sounds entertaining.

I really didn’t read anything there, but I’ve discovered that links to Alex Jones are NEVER a good sign.

And as far as Truthers go, well, I have a history with the lil’ pests.

 
 

become feudal slaves working in the uranium mines on Mars.

Air should be free!

 
Hemlock for Gadflies
 

Every sadlynaut ought to donate a dime. Then we’ll bombard K-Lo with emails with subject line: From NRO Donor [ ].

 
 

The kids over at NRO kind of remind me of our Montana Republicans (Glibbertarian wing). Always screaming about getting government (especially the feds) off our backs, eliminating taxes, the glories of the free market, and all the other horseshit. At the same time, Montana ranks 11 th in the nation for federal received per tax dollars paid. That does not even begin to count all the hidden subsidies in the form of federal grazing permits, oil and gas leases, and timber leases at 60% of local market value (the official federal rate for all leases), or the ludicrously low cost of patenting mining claims on federal lands (rather less than $500 per claim). Notably, the federal government, rather than the lessee, is on the hook for reforestation and the construction and maintenance of logging roads in the national forests (resulting in net losses for the FS timber program in the half billion dollar a year range), in contrast to private leases where those expenses are born by the lessee.

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

Or maybe Jonah let them know that “subway” is merely Marxist code for “socialist trains”…

A few years ago, during the very peak of U.S. wingnut triumphalism, the Utah public transit service put posters up around the U. of U. campus that were presumably encouraging use of the bus and light rail around town (students and staff there get free public transpo, like some others have mentioned above, which is one of my favorite perks of working there). These posters showed a pretty and scholarly young woman reading a book on the train. Seems like a good pitch for getting college kids on there, yes?

Oddly, though, the woman was on the swarthy side and wearing one of those exotic brimless caps and the book she was reading was Das Kapital. I have no idea what they were trying to say with that – was it “if you ride the light rail, you’re a terrorist?” Or trying to appeal to a caricatured liberal segment? But it was a fine image of Socialist Trains.

 
 

Why do I keep reading it as “socialite trans”?

 
 

Oddly, though, the woman was on the swarthy side and wearing one of those exotic brimless caps and the book she was reading was Das Kapital.

“Hey, miss, come around here often? Whattya think about surplus value?”

 
 

Basically, I will sleep if you donate now.

Will you kill yourself if I donate now?

 
 

Basically, I will sleep if you donate now.

I am holding out for a promise that neither she nor Jonah will ever write or speak another word in public until the end of time.

 
 

And thanks, guys, now I have Sleater-Kinney’s “Light Rail Coyote” running through my head.

(Although if you’re going to have an earworm you can do worse than S-L, I suppose…)

 
 

OT – a word to the wise from comments at TIDOS Yankee

20. Patrick in Toms River:

When you carry a weapon in an ankle holster to a house of worship, remember it can be seen by the person in the pew behind you. I was sitting in Mass behind a former classmate who I knew was a police officer. Just a word to the now wise.

Nov 25, 2008 – 8:24 am

21. Patrick in Toms River:

I should have mentioned that I was kneeling, he was kneeling, and I was two pews behind him.

Nov 25, 2008 – 8:27 am

…so if you’re sitting/kneeling, always keep the cops in front of you (Jesus loves ankle holsters)

 
 

S-K

damn it.

I blame NRO.

 
 

I blame NRO.

It does cause illiteracy and teh stupid.

 
 

Basically, I will sleep if you donate now.

Maybe we should bombard her with emails asking, “How much to get you to STFU forever?”

 
 

I blame NRO.

I’d blame Larry’s site. My poor old laptop did not like Larry’s place, and locked up. I had to reboot. Coincidence or conspiracy? It would be irresponsible not to speculate!

I don’t believe for a moment that K-Lo is walking anywhere, and not because of her size, either. She’d be too afraid of the scary brown hordes to walk anywhere.

I’m amused at how she managed to work in an insult to Al Gore and Teh Invention of the Innert00bz. No stoopid like old, old stoopid, eh K-Lo?

 
 

I have no idea what they were trying to say with that

“When you ride alone the subway, you’re riding with Hitler Karl Marx.”

Duh.

 
 

I’d blame Larry’s site.
It is the black helicopters and the NWO which have seized control of you computer. Be afraid! Be VERY afraid!!11!1!!

 
 

“When you ride alone the subway, you’re riding with Hitler Karl Marx.”

Duh.

Can I ride with El Che instead? He was oh so teh hawt.

 
 

DrDick, I’m so afeared I’m going to have to have a drink or three. I blame Larry.

 
 

Is this Larry Flowbee we’re talking about here?

 
 

Milton Friedman said it is a mistake to try and do good with other people’s money.
In this case, I would tend to agree.

Like NRO, he was wrong about everything else.

 
 

Yeah, Toof. Like that time you called me out on “redistributive taxation”. That were a real hoot, wasn’t it?

 
 

Is this Larry Flowbee we’re talking about here?

Nah. This Larry’s been trolling Orcinus, trying to make Dave Neiwert explain why there’ve been no Orcinus posts discussing Obama’s ties to terrorists. Larry claims not to be a wingnut, and really isn’t one exactly; he’s more of a Total Nutter. He has a site of his own, complete with picture of himself with Ron Paul and much 911 Truthiness etc.

 
 

I am happy to re-summarize them for him again.

Yes, you go sharpen your crayon and get to work on that.

 
 

Troofie –

I have a proposition for you. You fill mine out and I will fill out yours. OK? Here it is:

It is OK for ___________ (Fundamentalist Muslim clerics/Fundamentalist Christian ministers) to declare that ___________ (Israelis/abortion providers) are not innocent victims of terrorist violence.

It is NOT OK for ___________ (Fundamentalist Muslim clerics/Fundamentalist Christian ministers) to declare that ___________ (Israelis/abortion providers) are not innocent victims of terrorist violence.

You have to pick one of the two choices given for each of the blanks. Go ahead and fill it out, asshat. I will be waiting (though not holding my breath).

 
 

O noez somewun haz ritten that Obama is not messiah wif perfik librul polisees naw al mah faithes haz bin dashd

 
 

I enjoy imagining your distress – it is truly sweet.

…once again with the disturbing glimpse into your psyche. Is this a cry for help?

 
 

El Cid –
Yeah, I know. My mellow is totally harshed, man. I mean Obama is turning out to be exactly what I thought he was when I voted (somewhat reluctantly) for him: a very moderate centrist who, while not my perfect choice, was light years better than the totally batshit crazy, dumb as a stump, going to continue the disastrously failed Bush policies McCain/Palin ticket.

Funny how it is primarily the wingnuts who thought Obama was some kind of uberLiberal socialist.

 
 

yeah, get with it Doc – don’t violate the construct!!

 
 

You liberals want to force everyone to contribute to your causes of laziness, brainwashing and destruction of work ethic and religion and the faith values our forefathers created.

And weed. Don’t forget the free weed.

 
 

Troofie – the only embarrassment comes from the fact that I am actually engaging someone as butt ignorant and stupid as you. The point of my construct is not to replicate the wording of yours, but the meaning, you idiot. You clearly treat the two similar cases I present as totally different. Once and for all, here is my response to your absurd proposition.

It is not OK for anybody to commit assault against anyone else, even if the second group insults the first.

OK, asshat? No difference at all regardless of who commits the acts. Period. That was never my argument or that of anybody else here. You are the only one who believes otherwise.

Now answer mine and prove you are a bigoted fuckwit.

 
 

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I don’t give the slightest sh*t about what ‘went on’ in Jena, I’m sorry, I don’t, and I also don’t give much of a sh*t about the ‘Mumia’ situation, and if some loser nerd whose McPalin fantasy lost has to hold on to some case of a kid getting beaten up in order to think he ‘won’ something, well, that’s sadder than just being a McPalin loser in the first place.

Bill Ayers for Secretary of Blowing Sh*t Up.

 
 

“Jen’s husband was permanently disabled in an accident. They lost their home and now eke out a living by subsistence farming.

So, let me get this straight: Guy gets hurt in an accident. he doesn’t have suitably insurance and the insurance he does have rejects his claim. They have to mortgage their house to pay the medical bills, using one of those new-fangled products down at the bank. Their mortgage payments balloon and they can’t pay and get foreclosed on. They’re too young to claim social Security and unemployment has run out.

But government is bad and god bless them for doing it all themsleves and lving off the grid.

Is that about right?

 
 

I have a question too. If Obama’s train is going west at 100 mph and Bush’s train is going west at 65 mph, when will they both reach the same station?

*********

The answer–It’s a trick question. Bush crashes his train and kills everyone on it, so Obama’s train gets to the station first.

 
 

Jen is homeschooling the kids, which probably means ten hours of farmwork and one hour of “What A Friend You Have In Jesus: The Devout Young Teen’s Book of Biblical Mathematics.”

 
 

By the way, the letters in that Salon column I linked to are hilarious.

Too damn funny.

… so this is “teh Funny” that you’ve been missing here? Ah, now I understand.

 
 

I enjoy imagining your distress pecan pie – it is truly sweet.
Pixellated.
This “little silhouetto of a man” in teh Preview looks like a pawn to me. Mongo only pawn in game of life.

 
 

Better than being a prawn in the Thousand Island dressing of life.

 
 

Only difference is that the hippies would share with people who dropped in to the commune. This little tribe of New Mexicans would probably get out the shotgun if you came by seeking shelter.

ANd which ones are supposed to be the “Christians”?

 
 

I thought someone was getting under my skin, but on closer inspection it turned out to be scabies.

 
 

ANd which ones are supposed to be the “Christians”?

A point which can’t be emphasized enough.

 
 

… there’s not a finer man in this forum than Twoofie. He’s got a prolapsed asshole and when he wants to get screwed he’ll just pass you his asshole on three feet of in-tes-tine… If he’s a mind to it he can drop out a piece of gut reaches clear across the intarwebs and it go feelin’ around lookin’ for a peter, just a-feelin’ around like a blind worm…

[apologies to Old Bill Lee]

“So I am public agent and don’t know who I work for, get my instructions from street signs, newspapers and pieces of conversation I snap out of the air the way a vulture will tear entrails from another’s mouth.” — Bill H.

 
 

You can call me a troll all you want but these are serious questions. Good luck!

You can call me “matron” all you want, but it’s still going to cost you $200. Bon appetit!

 
 

..no matter what banner they claim to fly under.

…and flying under those banners is not as easy as it looks!

 
 

You can call me a troll all you want but these are serious questions. Good luck!

You can call me Ray, or you can call me Jay, you can call me Johnny . . .

 
 

but these are serious questions

No, they’re ridiculous attempts by a loser to change the subject, though delivered in an unjustifiably serious manner. Wolverines!

 
 

Troofie, do you honestly think that all of the 65 million people who voted for Obama don’t have jobs and are just moochers?

I’m assuming this is exactly what Troof believes because, after all, some generic conservatives said so.

 
 

Troofie –
You continue to astound with the depths of your ignorance and stupidity, as well as your evasion. I gave that answer to your proposition weeks ago, but you have chosen to ignore it. The civil rights marches and my position on the incidents at Jena (which is really insignificant in the larger scheme of things) are about the differential treatment given to the white students who engaged in an overt act of racial intimidation (that is NOT a prank) and to the black students who beat up a white student. The white students received a mild verbal reprimand from the principal (anywhere in the sane universe that act would have resulted in a substantial suspension or expulsion). The black students were charged with and one convicted of felony attempted murder and assault with a deadly weapon (sneakers!) by an all white jury. Those charges were found to be not only excessive, but positively ludicrous by the appellate court (in a district not known for its liberal leanings). It is the disparity in justice which is at issue, not whether the actions of the black teenagers were justifiable.

In most places, the beating would not have even been a police matter at all unless the victim was obviously seriously injured, which he was not since he was treated and released the same day. It is standard procedure everywhere, that when the police are called in on something like this, the victim is taken to the hospital for evaluation (which becomes part of the decision making process in filing charges). In this case, because he was struck in the head he was held for several hours to insure that he did not have a concussion, as is standard procedure.

 
 

But I know Obama’s betrayal has to hurt.

Er, could you wait until a few days AFTER Obama’s inauguration to talk about Obama’s “betrayal”?

Thanks in advance!

 
 

I enjoy imagining your distress – it is truly sweet.

Just curious …

Are any of your assumptions about “liberals” based on anything except Mallard Fillmoresque talking points? For example, have you ever actually talked to a “liberal”?

(I’m guessing ‘no.’ Do I win anything?)

 
 

I see you Sadlies are still struggling with imitation Truths, and it’s enormously flattering to think that you are so eager to dance to their bidding instead of mine, that there’s almost a hundred of you running with their jokes and satires of me, and only perhaps one or two people paying attention to the real thing! It is to laugh…!
Of course, this is to be expected, as even DrDick has given up trying to reason with someone clearly so utterly beyond him as I am. I gloat. I am smug. But unlike you Liberals who change your attitudes and opinions as you go through life and it’s experiences, the real Truth will still be here, week after week, reminding you of the hypocrisy expressed in your ironic statements, until you finally admit your lack of sincerity over events that happened in Jena nearly a year ago now.
And in another 2 years from now, you’ll be forcing yourself to ask “What Went Wrong With The Great Liberal Revolution?” as the Republicans finally take back Congress. And I’ll still be here, 48 months from now, to remind you of it all and enjoy the enormous freak out, I promise you!

 
 

I goat. I am slug.

 
 

I think that what Pravda here is really trying to say is that he wants a 14” anatomically correct black dildo for Christmas.

 
 

the hypocrisy expressed in your ironic statements</i

…neatly demostrating failure to understand either hypocrisy or irony! Well done.

 
 

(I thought preview was s’posed to fix stuff!!!)

 
 

Every time you feed a troll, the goddamn fucking troll wins.

Therefore, QUIT FEEDING THE GODDAMN FUCKING TROLL ALREADY!! Jeezus Hussein F. Christ.

Also, every time you feed a troll, God kills a kitten, and then a thread. See? It’s happening already.

 
 

…they are a good source of incoherence/inadvertent humor.

 
 

I’ll be here in another 48 months because Mom has the keys to the basement.

 
 

Some of us LIKE watching God kill kittens! Right guys?

 
 

Maybe “Truth” has some opinions on self-reliance. Should we ask it?

 
 

…apparently not

 
 

It is OK for Satan Jesuses to commit assault against Kitten-Killing Jesuses if the second group insults the first.

It is not OK for Minty-Fresh Jesuses to commit assault against Bar-B-Q Destroying Jesuses if the second group insults the first.

Thus we treat it with all the gravitas it deserves. Or Gravitar-ass, even.

 
Mehitabel the Abyssinian
 

Some of us LIKE watching God kill kittens! Right guys?
I killed a God once so it all evens out. I didn’t know it at the time, but I dragged it in through the cat-door and the house-apes said Oh God.

 
 

My dear MzNicky, although you are correct in every way, there seems to be no way to get some of the Sadly, No! commentariat to just ignore them, as has been the only known effective solution on political blogs in history. So they go on, letting the trolls smugly crap on the floor, knowing there will be people, otherwise quite intelligent, who will engage with them, allowing them to spew stupid and call attention to themselves for hours, if not days.

I’ll never understand what these folks think is so goddam entertaining about getting played for idiots BY idiots over and over again…

mikey

 
 

an opposition poster

Oh, so THAT’s what you call yourself. It reminds me of that line in some movie about juvenile deliquents: “We’re not a gang, we’re a club.”

Troofy’s not a troll, he’s an “opposition poster.”

 
 

My, my, my… you liberals certainly seem to be twisting yourselves in knots trying to explain simple word problems. But as usual, you keep missing the point. Here, why don’t we try this one?

It is okay to (park/drive) on the parkway
It is also okay to (park/drive) on the driveway.

Hail Xenu!

 
 

This must be an enduring trait of academics: you ask them a simple question, with an answer they don’t like, and they try to obfuscate.

I’m envisioning this scenario—

“Yes, Mr. Truth, we appreciate your views on the North American Union and the socialist criminal Barack Hussein Obama, now can we please get back to learning about remedial fractions?”

 
 

When Goshopdin Pravda is not posting Mad-Libs here, he’s working at his second job.

 
 

I can haz msNicky. I officially swear off troll feeding.

 
 

an opposition poster

Sort of like a pin-up. Only fugly.

 
 

mikey: I don’t get it either. Do we not all find bonhomie, affability, good times, puns and delight galore here? Does this blog not feature the slyest, snarkiest, best-educated, experientially diverse and encyclopediacally endowed hosts and commenters on the block? Well then! Why o why do otherwise awesome and lovely and entertaining people permit a loud obnoxious ignorant drunk with BO to crash the party and take over the room? It makes me sad and forces me to flee for second-rate snarkfests as may be found elsewhere.

 
 

I am assuming that “Goshopdin” is a respectful title in post-Soviet, consumerist Russia.

 
 

…noise of many goshawks.

 
 

I am assuming that “Goshopdin” is a respectful title in post-Soviet, consumerist Russia.

I was trying for the Russian for “Mr.” but if I got it wrong forgive me. It’s been a long time since RUS 105.

 
 

Hunky, encyclopediacally endowed commentor seeks svelte experientially diverse host with goal of creating lexicographical porn.

 
Rusty Shackleford (not that one)
 

So Orcinus is still going? I quit visiting it after Neiwert started cross-posting everything at Crooks & Liars, which seemed to render it pointless to visit both sites.

Neiwert always did get the quality trolls though. Not like here. 2007 was the best, with the Paulians in full throat. Good times.

 
 

Why o why do otherwise awesome and lovely and entertaining people permit a loud obnoxious ignorant drunk with BO to crash the party and take over the room?

I’m sorry, are you talking about the U.S.A. or this thread?

 
 

Ah, yes. I remember when Sadly No had GOOD trolls, too. Like Annie and Shlimpy.

 
 

Sorry everyone, but contrary to popular belief, we do not like the so-called “The Truth.”

He has gas.

 
 

I suggest you folks check this out; that’s reality.

 
 

We do not like this “The Truth”
we do not like him on the roof
We do not like him in a car
We do not like him at the bar
We do not like him in mid-air
We do not like him anywhere

 
 

I don’t mind a spirited, hair-pulling tussle with an actual “opposition poster.” In fact, I enjoy it. Sometimes it helps one to define and articulate one’s own viewpoint. That being said, this particular troll is so dull and repetitious that there is no stimulation in taking it on. I just scroll past its stupidities. In general, I don’t care if others wish to engage, but this troll has been overbearing, obnoxious, and worst of all, not the least bit entertaining.

 
 

Liberals, liberals, liberals. How sad and pathetic my imitators are!

They cannot even use proper grammar and sentence structure, which exposes them as the lame public university alumni they are.

However, I have learned facts and logic well, which makes it a trifle to deal with the lame, sad, pathetic challenges you present me.

But since you cannot debate me, you use insults and ad-hominems, you loose.

 
 

Rusty –
I still go over to Orcinus because you get a different set of posters and because the queue is not all ready 90 threads long when I get there (and it has sequential, not nested threads). He still draws some quality trolls, especially the Paulbots. The Larry mentioned above is one.

 
Rusty Shackleford (not that one)
 

Can somebody please post a link to an explanation of how to install this “killfile” that all the kids are talking about today? Thanks.

 
 

Has anyone else noticed that a lot of wingnut punditry consists mainly of lecturing everybody on the need to be self-reliant while simultaneously begging for money?

Oh hell yes. Look at my favourite trifecta of witches — Kathy Shaidle of Five Feet of Fury and her BFFs Wendy Sullivan of Girl on the Right and Andrea Harris of Twisted Spinster. I won’t link you to their blogs because they’ll just hit you up for money.

Besides asking you to pay her legal fees (no, I don’t know what that’s about) Kathy constantly pimps her self-published “book” or posts pictures of stuff she’d like to have hint hint. The other two? Flat-out ask you to pay their rent. That’s more or less all Andrea Harris does, that and watch Dr. Who. None of them seem to be able to hold a job for very long but it never occurs to them to sell their laptops.

A few months ago, NPR’S All Things Considered interviewed two Ohio women who were living on food stamps as they struggled to make ends meet. When a photo of the women revealed that both were obese, the wingnuts went to town – including Kathy, Wendy and Andrea who got mighty snippy and judgmental about lazy, fat layabouts who wanted handouts.

I don’t want to get all lookist here, but none of these three look like they have ever missed a meal if you get what I’m saying. (That cutie with the flip hairdo and crisp white blouse on Wendy’s site? Not Wendy. )

So the difference between these three and the women interviewed on NPR? I don’t know. Maybe the women on NPR have a sense of irony?

 
 

Well, actually, there is one good way to respond to each and every utterance of teh Troof troll. It is this:

It is not going to happen, liberals. Your echo chamber is reverberating now with your shouts of victory before you’ve won a single state. I almost feel badly for you, because when McCain wins, your astonishment will be overwhelming. I say “almost” because your ideology is nasty, anti-free speech, and absolutist, and every decent person will sigh in relief when it goes down to defeat once more.

Here is how it will go down next week. First, the results from Virginia and North Carolina will come in, and they’ll be declared for McCain. You’ll be disappointed, but “no big deal, change can’t come overnight” will be your comment. Florida will go red, and a little nervousness will creep in. The usual suspects will fall into the usual categories. As the night drags on, Ohio, Colorado, and (much to your horror) Pennsylvania will be too close to call.

My advice at this point to you will be to go to bed. You will wake up to a McCain presidency and the Great Liberal Freakout will be on.

Bookmark this, liberals, as this is exactly how it is going to go down. You will be wonder how the hell I was able to call this.

Then, you point and laugh. As per usual.

 
 

Rusty, you should find it here. If you’re using Firefox, it should be easy-peasy.

 
 

Sorry, it’s here.

 
 

Neiwert always did get the quality trolls though. Not like here. 2007 was the best, with the Paulians in full throat. Good times.

Yes, the Paulbots are always good entertainment. They really invaded Orcinus. Ah, I remember it well.

Orcinus has never been my main place, but it’s one of my regular occasional stops. It’s been real slow for great chunks of time over the past year.

 
 

You need the Greasemonkey extension to Firefox.

Also, FYWP.

 
 

Why o why do otherwise awesome and lovely and entertaining people permit a loud obnoxious ignorant drunk with BO to crash the party and take over the room?

I dunno. And I really dunno why he comes around here, either, when Atrios rolls out the red carpet for any and all trolls and invites them to crap in the punchbowl, and has lots of regulars who feed them from the table. He’s a much better host for the trolls. For everyone else, eh, not so much.

 
Rusty Shackleford (not that one)
 

DrDick,

Neiwert has some quality non-trolls too, befitting the quality of his blogging.

At C&L you can change the comment display from flat to threaded. On the gray bar at the bottom of the comment screen, to the right of where it says “Post New Comment”, there’s a faint icon. Click on it and you can make the switch.

 
The Truth... Revealed
 

…neatly demostrating failure to understand either hypocrisy or irony! Well done.

Actually, that was a satire of The Truth, but you were one of the very few to spot the deliberately stupid and nonsensical lines which I put in to give it away. I thought the ending in particular was blatant enough to illustrate it; the real Truth would never dare admit just how many months and years he’s been pointlessly trolling, or could ever face just how long it will be before he can piggy-back on any political “gotcha” achievement in the lives of others, like he thought this election would provide to laugh at people he hates thanks to John McCain… But one of the main points was this; despite his claims, writing a comment which genuinely passes as his supposedly unique wisdom is easy enough to do; what’s more, his own inability to think rationally or meaningfully is so terrible that you can squeeze in some quite ridiculous lines of attack and still sound just like him.

Want even more proof? The lines “I gloat. I am smug” sounds authentically Truth-y doesn’t it? It’s a quote though, from a book that Terry Pratchett wrote for children, called “The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents”. From a character who is completely unable to relate to real life, because she lives constantly within fairy tales. And that’s all he is doing in turn; he’s scouring the net for lines and narratives from other people, that seem to get a response, and shoe-horning them in to his posts to try and sound intelligent and as if his own life has a narrative too.

But every one else, as my faux-Truth pointed out, is just using those lines to riff their own jokes and funnies off of. Which is why he’s so desperately obsessed with the few people actually trying to respond to his stolen lines… he knows full well how impotent he really is compared to all the fakes (count how many times he refers to them passive-aggressively in this thread alone), so he’s obsessed with keeping himself in the attention of those few who seem to notice his own efforts, and who are influenced in any way by them. He doesn’t really care about Jena at all… only that he can get a few people to discuss it again in thread after thread instead of using him to spring-board into their own topics and jokes. When he hears “Jena” he actually only hears “the Truth is in control”. Indeed, like the famous Far Side cartoon “blah blah Truth blah Truth blah” is all he really hears and ever wants to hear. Because he is, with regards to the subject of this thread, a truly internalized version of Conservative responsibility; having to suck off the blood of the body politic to have even this little flaccid and parasitical existence… he doesn’t exist unless you exist, and then acknowledge that he does.

Which leads to the second main point; that this is why posters like Mikey are getting so frustrated. It’s obvious how insane and weak he is, no matter how much he flails his arms and pretends to be strong… yet he still keeps getting sustainence from serious people who can see clearly through him, but somehow think they need to address the issues, even tangentially that he keeps raising: But which part of “obsessive narcissist” don’t you understand? He doesn’t care how stupid he sounds, or what the issues are. He just wants to hear his assumed name and imagine he has control over you.

So prove he doesn’t, and deny it him. Treat him like a joke or ignore him. But never, ever address his issues. Not even when he claims (as he will) that you are running from him or are scared or unable to address them… you stopped responding to 9 year olds when they screamed for attention years ago… apply the same standards to him too. Even the easily faked Truths.

 
Rusty Shackleford (not that one)
 

Thank you, PIes and Simba.

 
Pies of the World
 

Thank you, PIes and Simba.

Pas de problème, Rusty.

 
 

I dunno. And I really dunno why he comes around here, either, when Atrios rolls out the red carpet for any and all trolls and invites them to crap in the punchbowl, and has lots of regulars who feed them from the table. He’s a much better host for the trolls. For everyone else, eh, not so much.

Haven’t I heard somewhere that Atrios is a little ban-happy on certain topics as well?

Interesting.

I never cared much for that blog, but then again I don’t find myself particularly enamored of the whole netroots phenomena either.

 
 

Pies of the World said –
Next question is what is it and exactly what does it do?

 
 

NRO is like a student mag, and K-Lo gets paid for it. What japes!

 
 

Hi there, I’m The Tr-oaf and I’m still reveling in a small town’s tragedy that happened a year ago. The actions of a bunch of teenagers leads me to extend my bigoted opinions to all liberals everywhere, without applying to other race-baiters like myself. I eat shit when I’m not eating pie.

 
 

I have sort of a small, carefully selected set of blogs I check almost daily: Sadly, obviously; Orcinus; World-o-Crap; Bats Left Throws Right; and Pharyngula. Sadly is the only blog I comment on with frequency. I’ll occasionally drop in on a few others but almost never comment. I’ve never been one for Atrios or Kos; way too many comments, way too many annoying commenters.

 
 

The troll-du-jour: someone with a personality disorder and issues about academics? Or someone pretending to have a personality disorder and issues about academics?
… You’re right; I couldn’t give a fuck.

 
 

Simba – yeah, Atrios has a problem with the word “guillotine”.

But only when certain people use it.

 
 

… You’re right; I couldn’t give a fuck.

As ever, Smut gets it exactly right.

 
 

David Frum suggests life under Bush is much rosier when compared to life in Mumbai, for example. Bonus, his policies have made you safer and Mumbai is a perfect example of that.
David Frum: Eight facts that burnish Bush’s record

Jeezus, the National Post really embarrasses itself by not only printing this shit but making it the lead ‘story’ on its front page.

 
 

…you were one of the very few to spot the deliberately stupid and nonsensical lines which I put in to give it away

Please donate my prize to charity.

 
 

It’s amazing how strongly a few 28%-er holdouts still try to savor a conservative legacy when they were so overwhelmingly, powerfully, consistently rejected by the American people, who preferred a liberal black man with a Muslim name. It really hurts them.

The man who broke, shattered, tossed to the ground, and then walked over, back and forth, over the crumbling bits of the Reagan legacy was a liberal black Democrat with a Muslim name, elected largely because he wasn’t one of the original backers of the Iraq war.

And now Big Government is back, and a New New Deal, and Socialism of the Market is de rigeur, and Science is back, and Talibangelical church influence on society coughing back into comatism, just like the Nixon-Reagan Southern Strategy.

And it was all, all of it, beaten by Nancy Pelosi and a liberal black Democrat with a Muslim name.

God how they hate it. How they desperately try to rewrite the recent past, how they try to rewrite the present.

Failed, rejected, crushed, and hated — yet the conservatives stagger onward, hardly recognizing that their grand national body has already died.

 
 

Smut Clyde –

Perhaps we should devise a Troll Classification system, rating them on a ten point scale along several dimensions. I suggest the following qualities:

Intelligence: semi-sentient – dumb as a stump
Sanity: Marginally sane – totally batshit crazy
Sincerity: Really wants to discuss – Plays bullshit gotcha games
Rationality: Occasional hints of logic – delusional arguments from authority

 
 

Lesley –
That presumes a sense of honor and shame nowhere in evidence.

 
 

When I come in and show that you are hypocrites …

I don’t remember this ever happening.

Links, please.

 
 

Also, in case I forgot to mention it, Reagan’s failed legacy was finally killed by a liberal black Democrat with a Muslim name.

 
 

Troof – don’t forget his redistributive tax schemes. You know, the ones you cannot convincingly argue against.

Heh.

 
 

El Cid, I find I’ve actually developed a special laugh, nay, a chortle, for those moments of schadenfreude when I come across a wingnut in despair. Mean spirited? Perhaps. But the chortle always comes, sort of high-pitched and articulated at the back of the palate; hyu hyu hyu hyu.

Will this ever lose its savor?

 
 

Truth, this is the wrong place for the “third term” and “worship” memes, if you had any intelligence whatsoever you’d know that, considering how long you’ve been here. But then again I don’t detect that honesty is your bag.

 
 

1:43 Truth – fake
1:48 Truth – less fake

 
 

Candy –

For me, it is a sort of hee-hee-hee and, no, it never loses its charm.

 
 

I don’t care if others wish to engage

Candy: I confess to having on occasion being a troll-engager myself. If others want to, then whatever. I just dislike it when the troll starts getting all the attention and diverts comments that would otherwise be so much better spent engaging with non-trolls.

 
 

I’d be more afraid of the presence of the same nimrods in power who cheerled deregulation and ‘free’ trade under Clinton if the times themselves had not changed.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt was no Big Gubmit interventionist, either. He was a budget balancing conservative aristocratic governor from New York.

It was the times which had changed.

‘Twas a time when Reaganite nonsense ruled even Clinton’s roost. But them days is done passed.

 
 

I’m being serious, Troof.

Do you have any real examples?

 
 

Candy: I confess to having on occasion being a troll-engager myself

A lot depends on the troll. The Twoof doesn’t add anything to the discussion, just makes the same tired complaints over and over ad nauseum. True opposition keeps the place from becoming an echo chamber; all the Twoof does is disrupt and distract.

I’m generally against the ban hammer, and even in this case I would hesitate to endorse it. I certainly wouldn’t miss this troll if it disappeared.

 
 

My schadenfreude chortle is several choruses of “HA Ha!” á la The Simpsons’ Nelson. Nicely nasty, and fun!

 
 

Is this just one small town’s tragedy?

 
 

Maybe the proprietors could put up a post slamming Ron Paul or attacking some glibertarian with a large following. Perhaps we could get some quality trolling in these parts.

Or we could start another big fight with La Alkon. While fun, now that I think about it that fracas didn’t bring any skilled trolls over here, just a couple of confused and somewhat pathetic dorks who soon went away. Oh, and Amy herself, of course.

 
 

El Cid, I find I’ve actually developed a special laugh, nay, a chortle, for those moments of schadenfreude when I come across a wingnut in despair. Mean spirited? Perhaps. But the chortle always comes, sort of high-pitched and articulated at the back of the palate; hyu hyu hyu hyu.

Heh. I remember back a couple of years ago, I had gone to Firestone to get some new tires and was having the brakes checked too…the guy at the counter made some really lame joke about “driving into a bush” and I looked at him like “wtf?” because it didn’t make any sense. He said, oh, it was a lame joke about your brakes. I said, “oh, I thought you were making a joke about our president.” He says, no, and I’m a Republican. Before I even thought about it, I hear myself saying, “Oh, I’m sorry, that must be very difficult for you” in a totally non-snarky, sympathetic tone of voice. He just looked down at the counter, sighed, and shook his head.

Hilarious.

I have a habit of not thinking before I speak which obviously is not always a good thing, but sometimes makes for hilarity. One of my customers was the one who told me about Jerry Falwell’s death the morning it happened. She says, “Did you hear? Jerry Falwell died, they found him in his office.” Again, out it pops: “Gee, I wonder what he did to make God mad at him.” Fortunately, she found that funny. It doesn’t always work that way.

So chortle away. Laugh, and the world laughs with you, except for a few poor deluded souls, and there’s no need to let them piss on your parade anyway.

 
 

Candy – we could always put up a post promoting circumcision. That would keep them flying in from all over the internets for at least two weeks.

 
 

Perhaps we should make a special inaugural commemorative recording of our various schadenfreude chortles. We could send the entire wingnut roster a copy, in the spirit of the season of peace and good will!

 
 

Oh, dear FSM, Jennifer, not the c word. I beg of you!

 
 

Maybe the proprietors could put up a post slamming Ron Paul

I dunno… last time I did a post on Ron Paul I got this guy:

Good to see Ron Paul, at least, telling the truth about money. Maybe the others will get a clue soon…

These deceptions are now being widely and comprehensively exposed and are failing rapidly. No one in their right mind would continue to be enslaved by a proven deception, which is also proven to be undeniable slavery-by-proxy.

Just a kook, no very entertaining either.

 
 

I’m more looking for quality opposition, not bloody fratricidal warfare. I didn’t think I’d survive the Sammich Wars. I hate it when people I like fight. It makes Teh Bebe Jebus cry.

 
 

You want trolls? – go with global warming. Works every time. Money back guarantee.

 
 

You’re right, Pere, that ain’t much of a troll.

 
 

(..sorry, “climate change”)

 
 

Backup? Autism.

 
 

Just a kook, no very entertaining either.

Sounds like Larry over at Orcinus. Generally my impression of the Paulbots.
No profile available at link, BTW.

 
 

Backup? Autism.

Yeah, lots of good trolls in the anti-vax crowd. Pharyngula has frequent anti-vax nuts.

 
 

Here’s an example of the aforementioned kook’s writing:

When the full scope of human civilization is analyzed, it becomes abundantly clear that its pillars are money, religion, and politics. Of the three, money is by far the most important because politics and religion rely on it for existence. All three are great deceptions (strong lies) secretly managed by the Vatican and its secret society cohorts. This fact has been expertly hidden over the last two centuries. Money, religion and politics are Machiavellian deceptions whose common purpose is mass exploitation. Very few people understand that all three are tightly synchronized and interdependent logic traps. Consequently, to continue trying to win at such long-term and highly developed shell (and shill) games is absolute folly. Until we turn away from such obvious delusions, humanity’s great struggles and suffering will never end.

Yeah… um, …yeah…ooookayyyy…

 
 

Kooks are sometimes entertaining if you don’t start feeling sorry for them. I was beginning to feel bad for Larry. At least he was for real; he wants to convince. He wasn’t just trying to get a reaction. He’s so frickin’ sincere. We never get that with trolls here, or almost never anyway.

Totally off topic, but I wish to whine. I’ve got a paper due Monday. I’ve had three weeks to write it, but I’m just now starting. Once I get going, it will go quickly, but damn I really don’t want to do it at all.

Oh well, better get started.

 
 

Jennifer: When people said to me they were Republican, over the past few years I just asked them, very politely and cheerfully, “Oh yeah? How’s that working out?”

 
 

Typical Conspiracy nonsense.

“Expertly hidden” leads to “obvious delusions”. I love those obvious things that are expertly hidden. I once hid a D9 Cat in my home office. Expertly. Except, well, it was kind of obvious.

I always get a kick out these ass clowns who are the only ones who see through these grand, immensely well-funded centuries – old conspiracies, and yet they tend to be like, clerks at the drugstore.

I always kind of wish these types would stumble across an ACTUAL conspiracy and start hollering about it. When they were reduced to a grease-spot it would amuse me, but then I’m a bit of a callous pigfucker…

mikey

 
 

Hey, is S, N! gonna start in with avatars?

‘Cause I have a righteous one I used on my flickr page.

So c’mon, Seb, let’s enable that mofo…

mikey

 
 

If I were a rich man, I would offer to fund the National Review for a full year. The only thing they would have to do is make a video of K-Lo in a bald head skull cap, ripping up a picture of Jonah Goldberg. “Fight the real enemy!”

 
 

Damn, Pere, that’s even better than the Protocols of the Elders of Zion. You got yourself a real winner there.

 
 

I don’t know how to get rid of my avatar. I’d forgotten about it til it showed up here the other day in the Preview box. I went to gravatar.com to disengage it but I’ve changed email addresses since then and it seems now I can’t get there from here. O well.

Speaking of trolls, I miss Teh Fool. Now there’s a troll worth messing with.

 
 

Also Bruce. I miss Bruce.

 
 

Good luck with the paper, Candy.

When I went to college the first time, there were no word processors. Made the second time a piece of pie, by comparison.

And while I’m sorry I missed the Jeebus thread (watching our own MST3000 marathon with Partner) I laughed hysterically, and did not put my soul in jeopardy.

 
 

BTW, mikey, FWIW: I am now officially disenchanted with Twisty.

 
Smiling Mortician
 

I am having a happy moment. My computer went evil on me a few days ago and I’ve been messing with it. Finally wiped it yesterday and have been reloading everything since then. Just now I reinstalled the greasemonkey killfile, which — I gotta say — seriously decreases the tediousness of some of these recent threads. So yeah. I’m happy. In the same way I’m happy after spring cleaning.

*whistles*

 
 

Yesterday I managed to acquire a replacement copy of Creatures of Light and Darkness so happiness likewise reigns supreme here at Maison D’Etre.

 
 

MzNicky. It’s a sad thing. On a macro level, I AGREED with Twisty. I want her, and people like her, to speak out, and make a difference.

My problem with those folks was simply pragmatism vs. unfettered idealism. I’m a “pick up a shovel and dig, pick up a rifle and fight, pick up bullhorn and organize” kind of guy. I don’t GET anger without outlet. If you recognize that the institutional architecture is built to make you something less, and you choose to fight it, you are by definition a guerrilla. And if you piss on everybody who wants to help you because they can’t pass some kind of ideological purity test or even worse, by nature of their chromosomes, you are dooming your guerrilla fight to defeat.

And that, and that alone, is what I found silly, naive and unacceptable…

mikey

 
 

Damn! What happened? Sadly went down for several minutes there. Did you guys piss of Troofie enough that he crashed the site with stupid or did you simultaneously invoke Ron Paul’s and Amy Alkon’s flying monkies?

 
 

Smut Clyde: FUGUE!!!

 
 

mikey: I hear ya on that. For me it’s a bit more complicated. Things change, people change.

I’ve had a few to drink tonight, being very very bored, so I don’t want to get into it too much on a public site (and it’s O/T anyway, but WTF). Twisty’s a BrCa sister, which counts for a lot, and a stunning feminist thinker/writer. What’s finally done me in is what I’ve come to perceive as her hypocritical classism. This is a person who, because of her wealthy father, is able to live a life of extremely privileged leisure and great materialism while she unironically rants against capitalist patriarchy. If you’re going to present as an exclusionary purist, be one; otherwise, at least admit your good fortune while issuing your judgments.

 
 

mikey: I hear ya on that. For me it’s a bit more complicated. Things change, people change.

I’ve had a few to drink tonight, being very very bored, so I don’t want to get into it too much on a public site (and it’s O/T anyway, but WTF). Twisty’s a BrCa sister, which counts for a lot, and a stunning feminist thinker/writer. What’s finally done me in is what I’ve come to perceive as her hypocritical classism. This is a person who, because of her wealthy father, is able to live a life of extremely privileged leisure and great materialism while she unironically rants against capitalist patriarchy. If you’re going to present as an exclusionary purist, be one; otherwise, at least admit your good fortune while issuing your judgments. And FYWP.

 
 

sorry for the double post, fuck you wordpress you evil thing.

 
 

It’s not a double post, it’s a temporal fugue.
(h/t El Cid).

 
 

If it’s important to you you try to change it.

If it’s evil enough you try to kill it.

You welcome other, strange fellow travelers, with different agendas but with the same short-term goals. You do all the things, political, organizational, confrontational. You expect to to fight, and to bleed, and to put effort into building your cells, then linking them into some kind of constituency. You care enough to put it out there. To be the lightning rod, the person that forms the center of gravity that others can form around.

You live with the search warrants and the tails and the wiretaps. And they are all easy to avoid. You do what it takes, and you SPIT on them when they come to “talk” to you.

And do you create change?

Not always. But just as you get you’re going to die without getting “there”, you’re just going to make some goddam difference. And ultimately, what more could you ask for?

Excuse me, there’s another insistent knock on my door…

mikey

 
 

OT, though I’m not sure there is a topic by this point in the thread, but….

…am I the only person here who really, really misses those little Nabisco Chocolate Snaps that used to be sold in small groceries in the little animal cracker boxes? I haven’t been able to find those things for like 15 years – and it’s because they stopped making them and refuse to start making them again – bastards!

Well, anyway, I found a recipe that’s supposed to be exactly like them. So if there are any others here who mourn the passing of Nabisco Chocolate Snaps, let me know and I’ll pass it on.

 
 

Has anybody here read Ted Rall’s “Silk Road to Ruin”? I just got to the part about buzkashi. I adore this book.

Highly recommended.

 
 

The MzNicky of 3:53 appeared above and behind the MzNicky of 3:55, entirely cutting off the arrival of MzNicky of 3:57. FUGUE!

 
 

Not to, uh, tempt fate now that a certain troll has gone, but I think I may have found the genesis of his association with us. I was reading over the Advice, uh, Fairy’s threads from a few months ago, you know, those ones where she got close to 300 comments whereas she normally gets 3? Yeah. Well, go to the one that is titled about people with heads full of lettuce (no links to be on the safe side) and scroll down to about 12:03 AM. You will see someone who uses the same nym (heh) as our latest problem child, minus the prepended article, and mentions that he came to Alkon’s place by way of Glenn Sacks.

Just thought someone might find that interesting.

 
 

Make that PM, not AM.

 
 

Jen’s blog-
http://penofjen.blogspot.com/2008/11/editorial.html
She likes Abbot and Costello, her dad died in VietNam for YOUR right to disagree and she is short. She is also a Christian and a homeschooler who will not “stand by and remain silent when words and there meanings are changed”.

Unfortunately, fellas, she already married.

 
 

I think you’re all drunk. Or maybe it’s me.

 
 

I also think “Jen” is a figment of the Malkin thing’s imagination. As someone else suggested, she sounds made up. I bet MM set the whole thing up, complete with fake web page.

 
 

I have a paper in press at the moment about certain effects of luminance contrast upon colour vision. Unfortunately my co-authors did not share my enthusiasm for the title “Features of Light and Darkness”.

 
 

I’m drunk!

That’s not having a bad influence on my pork stir fry.

As soon as the rice is rice, I’m tucking into that there crap.

As Ahnold said before he thought about being guv, but clearly he was thinking about being an alternative music songwriter, “I’ll be Beck”…

mikey

 
 

Smut Clyde: Maybe you should cut your thumb off to show your dedication to the topic.

 
 

Jen’s blog-

The comment I left over there—

I am a Christian

It’s funny you feel the need to explicitly state this.

I don’t expect it will ever see the light of day.

 
 

You welcome other, strange fellow travelers, with different agendas but with the same short-term goals.

That too is a point of departure. What is the goal? Is there a goal, other than bitching and whining? Point out the multiple examples of the problem, yes. Commenters commiserate and also bitch and whine. So fucking what? If the problem seems insurmountable, come up with a response at least, if not a solution.

Like, there was this one time when a post concerned a woman who had to move out of state to escape her threatening stalking murderous ex. Then she discovered the shitbag had moved to her new location and was asking around about her. She was all, omg, what do I do? Commenters urged changing her i.d., moving again, blah blah blah. I seriously suggested finding someone for crissakes to, well, take care of the problem permanently. OMg, do you think life is like “The Sopranos,” she’d end up in prison not him, could you live with that, hockey blockey nockey. I said lissenup gals, the spouse and I went through a similar scenario with The Girl, and, well, I dunno where these folks live, but here in the surrounding rural counties of the neck of the glorious border state where I live, you can get some good ol’ boys to take care of business just for the fun of it and a bottle of Jack and maybe $50 for gas fare. Nah nah nah, let the victim bear the burden of the problem. That’s where we depart company, ladies. You want to take care of the situation or you want to wail about how awful things are?

 
 

May I hasten to add, our problem resolved itself peaceably without the necessary solution.

 
 

Maybe we’re taking this all wrong. Maybe we should encourage all Good Patriot Conservative Americans to return to a rural, bucolic life where the children can all be home-schooled in a Godly manner and life isn’t cluttered up and confused by all those liberal modernisms.

We could even trade them, say, large sections of Alabama and Mississippi if they’d get out of Atlanta and other infernal metropolitan areas.

 
 

also think “Jen” is a figment of the Malkin thing’s imagination. As someone else suggested, she sounds made up. I bet MM set the whole thing up, complete with fake web page.

Jen actually has at least two blogs, the one mentioned above and-
http://doublenickelfarm.blogspot.com/2007/12/staying-home.html
Just imagine her first years of marriage. She felt as though she was not earning her keep, and that she was somehow a loser. Imagine that! She felt as though she was missing out on something. She felt like she was a disappointment to her husband. Oh how she wasted those years sulking instead of cherishing the tie she had.

 
 

Has anyone else noticed that a lot of wingnut punditry consists mainly of lecturing everybody on the need to be self-reliant while simultaneously begging for money? It’s almost like they don’t actually believe the stuff they’re writing

The Wingnut Canon specifically forbids any variant of “practise what you preach” under penalty of excommunication. Such a concept isn’t able to mesh well with “preaching” that’s guided by a giant windsock.

Hey, is S, N! gonna start in with avatars?

DO WANT!
See Teh Editors’ comments for a primo example of doing it right. They could even make Herr Trout entertaining, at least for the first few comments.

I’ve engaged Troutbot many & many a time, & haven’t gotten one direct answer … lateral flames, yes, actual replies, not so much … so I’m increasingly inclined to ignore the sad little creature. “Byrd, Jena 6, Obama=Carter, Bush kept Amurrika safe since 9/11” is only boffo the first time – 30 or 40 iterations later, it just looks like a mental tic.

The trolling that amuses me the most here is the kind I NEVER see: flames from the folks whose sites are so lovingly cited daily. Althouse & Owens are the only well-known ones I recall seeing in these parts trying to give as good as they got – & as much as I think they’re mostly full of shite, I have to give them creds for doing so. Say what you want about Alkon but she at least had the stones (heh) to respond directly.

Crittenden? K-Lo? Ace? Goldberg? Sowell? Malkin?

Here kitty kitty kitty …

 
 

I don’t expect it will ever see the light of day.

From the brief glance I took, I don’t think anything over there has ever seen the light of day.

 
 

It does hurt when I point out Obama has conned you.

Obama didn’t con anybody, his record is (and always has been) out there for all to see. Although there is little doubt that a lot of people (left and right) conned themselves about who the real Barack Obama is.

 
 

It does hurt when I point out Obama has conned you.

I always wish the “Opposition Poster” (my new favorite phrase!!!!) could actually see what folks are doing while he writes that. As in, sleeping, having a great meal, getting laid, etc., not even thinking about him.

 
 

there is little doubt that a lot of people (left and right) conned themselves about who the real Barack Obama is.

Or who their “real” spouse, or best friend, or parent is.

 
 

Are any of us real?

 
 

her dad died in VietNam for YOUR right to disagree

My rights are enshrined in the United States Constitution and are not granted to me by some benevolent military dictatorship.

 
 

Are any of us real?

I am, but as the Rev. Berkeley observed, the rest of you are but figments of my imagination.

 
 

My rights are enshrined in the United States Constitution and are not granted to me by some benevolent military dictatorship.

Nor some malevolent Xtianist rightard gasbag.

 
 

I’ve never understood the chain of logic where invading other countries translates to fighting for the rights of Americans. Fighting for the people of Iraq or Afghanistan, sure, maybe. Securing American economic interests, absolutely. But protecting the First Amendment? Uh…?

 
 

Tilly –
They are fighting for the rights of Americans to impose their will on anybody they want to.

 
 

The dumbfuck mind has no room for Two-Fisted Lawyers.

 
 

The mud elephant wading through the sea leaves no tracks.

 
 

One never steps in the same river twice.

 
 

I don’t mind a spirited, hair-pulling tussle with an actual “opposition poster.”

And I like to watch spirited, hair-pulling …

Oh, that’s not what you meant.

Never mind.

 
 

A bamboo flute conceals its praise for the morning zephyr.

 
 

What about the cagèd whale?

 
 

My rights were given me by my own existence. The Constitution enshrines the principle that my government recognizes that, and explicitly vows not to take certain rights from me. My government ‘gave’ me no rights.

 
 

I know why the caged whale sings

 
 

It sings for thee. No whale is an island.

 
 

I made a god out of blood
not superiority
I killed the king of deceit
wake me up in anarchy

But seriously, everyone that thinks that this has anything to do with al-queda is a flipping moron.

 
 

I have a little trouble believing that woman surviving on subsistence farming, home schooling her children, and taking care of a disabled husband, also has time to maintain two blogs. All the real farmers I know pretty much work all the time, including before church on sunday.

 
 

And the NRO, relentless promoter of the free market, personal responsibility and self-reliance isn’t a going concern, instead surviving on donations and some unearned endowment, unlike say, The Nation.

 
 

I just had a conversation with Joan Baez.

No, really.

 
 

Good luck with the paper, Candy.

Thanks, WereBear. I got most of the paper written, and it won’t take me an hour to finish the rest, so there’s that.

When I went to college the first time, there were no word processors. Made the second time a piece of pie, by comparison.

I know what you mean. The first time I went to college my comp teacher accepted handwritten papers. I did have to rent a typewriter to do my American Lit papers, though. Brings back memories!

“Opposition Poster” (my new favorite phrase!!!!)

I had opposition posters on my walls as a teen. One of them had two geese or ducks, can’t recall which, flying while having sexual congress*. The caption: Fly United.

*Sexual Congress – now there’s a phrase!

 
 

Tell JB I said “hey”, g.

Ask her if she’s up for a set of tennis at the courts in kentfield…

Then a draft beer at a fern bar….

mikey

 
 

I love Joan Baez. Sweet Sir Galahad . . . what a lovely song for a lovely voice.

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

One never steps in the same river twice.

However, one often steps on the same turd, or the same face-slapping rake, many times.

 
 

I just looked out the window, and there’s about an inch and a half of sparkly new-fallen snow out there. I love it; it never fails to make me feel cheerful and energized, somehow. I’m always glad to see spring, and I hate it when the snow gets all filthy and slushy, but I love the bright white stuff, deep and crisp and even.

Bright white light, shining through your mind . . .

 
 

No snow here, it’s going to be 72 degrees tomorrow, they say.

JB was going to take a walk, wanted to be sure she knew which door to come to so she could get back in past security.

 
 

We’ll not see 72 here again until late March, although with the way the climate has been warming, I could be wrong. There were wild violets in the grass at the partner’s dad’s house in October. I have lived in Iowa most of my life, and I have never ever seen violets blooming in the fall. It was like seeing a cat walking around on his hind legs or a bird flying upside down. Gave me a funny feeling.

g, you should have told her she could only get back in by singing you a song. ??

I need to go to bed. We’re moving the last of the stuff out of the partner’s poor old dad’s house tomorrow, and doing my last loads of laundry there. Then it will be the bastardly laundrymat for me until we can find a house or a duplex and get moved out of this apartment. I know, I know, it could be worse. I could be subsistance farming in New Mexico and worrying about when the crazy home schooling neighbor will snap and come riding over the hill naked, painted red and armed to the teeth, on a crusade to purge the heathens.

I really am tired, I guess. Sorry about that image.

 
 

I just looked out the window, and there’s about an inch and a half of sparkly new-fallen snow out there.
I fired up Firefox with the intention of saying something snarky about the psychology of trollery, but it wasn’t worth spoiling the mood.

 
 

g, you should have told her she could only get back in by singing you a song. ??

Well, she did. She just sang it to me and 2999 other people.

 
 

One never steps in the same river shit-moat twice.

Fixed.

 
 

How about putting out a fucking product people are fucking willing to pay some fucking money for, you fucking welfare queens. fuck you. go get some fucking night jobs like the rest of us you fucking mendicants. and then go fuck off on some fucking cruise and suck some regnery dick and get fucked up the ass and get paid for swallowing some rich conservo-perv’s cum and then use that money to put out you fucking magazine you fucking soft-handed little fuckwits. post some fucking youporn vids of katherine lopez mouth-fucking jonah’s dick and i’ll send you a fucking $1000 right fucking now, or fuck larry craig in the ass with a fucking cucumber for $180 per half hour and make some fucking money that way.

 
 

These are trying times indeed, if even wingnut welfare is drying up. I thought these guys thrived on adversity. Was that a previous generation?

You know, I once considered a hypothetical solution to cockroaches where we feed them and make homes for them and pamper them until they lose all their innate toughness, and then we take away the benefits and they all die. I wonder: is that what the last eight years have done to the gallant warriors of the Right? How can we find out?

 
 

Bush kept us safe until 9/10, and after 9/12. So he had this one bad day!

(Mmmm, Sweet Sir Galahad. I don’t remember how long it was before I associated it with the widow of the writer of Been Down So Long It Looks Like Up To Me, a book that totally bummed me out. Great song. When I was about five, I thought Joan Baez was one of my older sister’s friends, because the surname sounded Spanish.)

 
 

No whale is an island.

But many bowls of pansies can be!

 
 

If it wasn’t for vets we’d all be speaking Vietnamese today. And we’d have to eat banh mi and pho and spring rolls and crepes!!!1!!

 
 

Here’s my favorite [from K-Lo]:

“With so much fog in the air, bringing clarity and truth to policy debates is needed now more than ever.””

 
 

You are like a writer.

 
 

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